Sunday, January 30, 2011

The Weekend

  Michael was a fairly normal person. As a gangly, 16 year old teenager trying to survive high school, he enjoyed weekends with the passion of seventy synchronized panda bear skydivers. In case the reader of this post does not have experience with skydiving pandas, let an experienced observer tell this individual that this is quite a bit of passion. Anyways, I digress. One Friday night, Michael returned home from a splendid birthday party totally exhausted. He slowly walked to his basement room and collapsed on his bed. As he fell asleep, the only thought that wrapped around his mind was how happy his life was.

Bang Bang Bang BANG. "Mommy look!" Bang Bang....Bang........Thump. "Oops"

  These were roughly the sounds Michael heard as he abruptly entered consciousness early the next day.  He blearily looked around and sat up. The chaos upstairs sounded like his 2 year old brother was building a rocket in the living room. Michael listened harder and recalled that last night his father had given his brother a hammer, some nails, and a couple of 2 by 4's. Michael had no idea why a 2 year would need this equipment, but he did know that it was loud. And it sounded like his brother was only getting started.

  Michael grabbed at the earplugs that resided on his bedside table and efficiently put them in like only an experienced user could. He immediately dropped off into a dream. Michael dreamed of airplane bombers that had orders to blow his house into the troposphere. In reality, the snores of Michael harmonized almost impeccably with the blows from his brother's hammer.

  Three hours later, Michael Boyd awoke to find a silent house and the smell of potstickers in the air. He wondered whether he was still dreaming. It seemed too good to be true. As Michael looked at his clock, he faintly heard sirens a far way off. The clock said 11:20 A.M. Michael got out of bed and stretched heartily. This was the sleep he had needed. Michael walked out of his room and stiffly climbed the stairs to the kitchen. The smell of Asian food was making his stomach grumble. As Michael got to the top of the stairs, he looked around.

 He had been planning to say "Hey everyone, I'm up!"

But as Michael looked around the remnant of his kitchen, all he managed to blurt out was "hehblckshplurgh"

 The entire upper portion of his house, from the ground up, was completely obliterated. He could see the neighbor's dog looking curiously at him through was used to be his kitchen wall. All that was left was a dented, dusty refrigerator. He turned to face his living room. This was where the worst damage was. A blackened crater in the ground marked what used to be his living room. In the center of this crater was a small, worn hammer. Michael slowly walked out around the house and marveled at how little was left. Not knowing what else to do, Michael stumbled to the front door, which was miraculously still standing, tried to open it, and though it simply fell down, he went to check the mail.


To be continued. (Maybe)
Based on a true story. (Very loosely)
Hopefully this is relatively cohesive and somewhat entertaining.
Thank you for reading! :)

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